The Mexican And American Culture Clash
Hey guys, I’ve got a guest post today I think you’ll really enjoy by Jeffrey Nelson, who is a husband, father, author and bilingual living and working in the Midwestern United States. He lives with his Mexican wife and their son, Liam, who is currently being raised bilingual in English and Spanish. He runs the blog Living Bilingual. Check it out below:
One cultural issue that is ever-so-present in my world is the difference between Mexico and the United States as it relates to personal relationships. This is a cultural difference that is very apparent to members of each respective culture when interacting with people of the other culture. A few things I have noticed while experiencing this phenomenon are the differences in personal space/physical contact, intensity with which people are greeted, and the expectations that exist when enter/exiting a situation.
The Personal Space Difference:
Mexicans greet each other in very different ways than Americans. In Mexico, women kiss everyone on the cheek when greeting them. A man, on the other hand, will kiss a woman on the cheek and shake the hand of another man. This hand shake usually involves a pat on the shoulder/bicep area or another hand placed on top of the hand being shaken.
The bottom line is that Mexicans are a lot more physical when greeting each other. Whether it’s a quick beso, a firm handshake that lingers, or all of the above plus a hug, they greet each other physically as opposed to the quick ‘hey’ that we Americans tend to throw out.
A quick side note from Andrew: if you’re interested in teaching yourself Spanish…
I have a short post and video (that are free to read and view of course, won’t cost you more than a few minutes of your time) on how to do precisely that with the system that I put together which allowed me to become fluent in Spanish in just 6 months after years of trial-and-error by watching Spanish-language TV shows (like telenovelas, hence the name of the system) and movies, reading Spanish books and comics, and listening to Spanish music. If this sounds interesting to you, check it out by clicking the link below (the following link should open in a new tab or window for you when you click it so I’m not asking you to leave this article here):
I also include some quick and valuable tips for learning Spanish as well as a couple of the most useful free Spanish-learning websites that I recommend.
The Intensity of The Greeting:
Mexicans also greet each other with much more intensity than Americans. A big smile, the kiss, handshake, hug, combination depending on who is greeting whom, and a passionate como estas? Que bueno verte! [How are you? It’s so good to see you!]
Mexicans greet each other like Americans would if they hadn’t seen each other in a few weeks/months as a standard greeting. My wife says good night to her parents every night in the same way I say good bye to my parents when we are headed back home from visiting them and won’t see them again for 3-6 months. A simple ‘hey, how are you doing?’ devoid of emotion is considered rude in Mexican culture. In America, we tend to tailor our greeting to the circumstance a lot more. For example, if I just saw you 10 minutes ago, and I will see you again in two hours, there may not even be a greeting.
In Mexico, the formal, excited, intense, drawn out greeting is there every.single.time. Whether I’m just going to the store for milk or am going off to war, it’s basically the same goodbye. This may be a slight exaggeration, however it isn’t as far-fetched as you might think if you don’t understand Mexican culture.
The Cultural Expectations When Greeting/Leaving Someone:
As I’ve stated, there are certain expectations that exist in Mexican culture when you are greeting and/or leaving a person or group of people. Basically, anytime you enter, re-enter, leave, return for your keys, whatever, you are expected to not only greet the people, but greet everyone individually with the kiss/hug/handshake/combo style. Even my wife will greet me formally every single time I come home from work, or from any other place. She will despedirse almost every morning while walking me to the door as I head out for work. This is just part of the culture. The hello/goodbye moments are very important to the Mexican people. It’s almost a sign of respect to acknowledge and greet individually everyone in the room at all times regardless of who they are or how comfortable you are with them; parents, spouses, children, etc.
Due to these three points, Mexicans often perceive Americans as cold, aloof, indifferent, and ultimately almost rude for the way we greet and interact with each other. To them, it’s ridiculous that we don’t hug and kiss our parents more, go on-and-on about how much we love them, or call them on the phone every day (or even once a week). The stereo type that family is incredibly important for Mexicans holds true, however it’s more of the way they express the importance.
While their language may be easier to learn than some, the true Mexican language consists of not only Spanish, but the way they use it to interact with each other. The true language of Mexico is a combination of Spanish and their diverse and special culture.
A Quick Note Before We End…
I’ve got two posts that I’ve put up that I’m recommending everyone interested in learning Spanish go read if they haven’t already (if you have, ignore this, sorry): How to avoid wasting months learning Spanish the wrong way (basically this is my “how to get started right in learning Spanish” post for complete beginners) and The Telenovela Method where I cover how to use popular media like movies, music, and books to learn Spanish. Additionally you can check out the front page for a more complete list of my best and most popular posts.
Learn Spanish from TV shows, movies, music, books, comics, and more!Did you remember to check out my post on the Telenovela Method? Again, it costs nothing to read it, watch the (short, under 15 minutes!) video, and give it a shot! I'll show you exactly how you can learn to do all sorts of cool things, including teaching yourself Spanish from whatever modern popular Spanish-language media you choose (TV shows, music, etc.) as well as how to apply what you've learned immediately by using it to talk to a real, live native speaker who will, for free, be glad to help you with your Spanish (I'll show you where and how you can find these people online and how to talk to them, either face-to-face via Skype or via written means if you'd prefer). Check out the Telenovela Method (click here) and get started learning Spanish today!
Get my list of the internet's top 33 FREE Spanish-learning resources here!I put together a list of the internet’s Top 33 Free Spanish-learning resources, my favorite language exchanges and Spanish chat rooms, and more. I’ve spent a great deal of time putting together a 3-part series of articles for you on the internet’s best free resources for the Spanish-learner that you’ll get when you sign up for my newsletter–in addition to all of what you get below, I’ll be sure to send you any updates about cool new sites, resources, and learning tips and techniques that I come up with (I’m currently putting together a whole series that will teach you in great detail precisely how I go about learning a new language):
Part 1: A very long list of my favorite Top 33 free online Spanish-learning resources (tools, references, sites with free lessons, articles, blogs, forums, etc.) that’s far too long to include here, especially with all the other stuff I’ve got here that’s available just on this site alone, and I’d like to offer it to you (completely free, you don’t have to do anything other than sign up) right now.
Part 2: I explain what language exchanges are (essentially they allow you free access to an unlimited number of native speakers to practice your Spanish with), why they’re absolutely essential if you’re teaching yourself (I’m serious when I say this: it’s impossible to get fluent without them if you’re learning a foreign language on your own), how to use them, and which ones are the best.
Part 3: I cover chat rooms which are specifically devoted to connecting you with native Spanish speakers who want to learn English so you can chat with them in Spanish (and they’ll help and correct you) and then you do the same for them with their English (these are completely free to use, but rather hard to find, but I’ll tell you where the best ones are!). Sign up below!